“It’s for you.”
When she was toying with the idea of meeting the Sang-je, Eugene had considered ways to obtain his consent to go to the Holy City. She thought he wouldn’t let her go before she had a baby. But when he told her to go, on his own accord, and for her sake, it made her reconsider a lot of things.
According to Jin Anika’s memories, the relationship between the two was calculated. She is ‘Jin Anika’ who had signed a contract. In his eyes, she was still the same. He couldn’t possibly know that her soul had changed. Animosity and mistrust was the foundation of this marriage, she had seen it too in the initial days. His unconcealed skepticism of her was hard to miss, and he had a good reason for it. So then what had happened to effect this change? He hadn’t mentioned the heir in a long time now, and even letting her leave like this?
Was he sick of this kind of marriage then?
“By any chance… Have you changed your mind about me giving you a successor?” she asked.
“What do you mean?” His tone was sharp, thinking she was about to breach the contract.
“Do you think I’m not qualified?”
Her words were totally unexpected. Kasser was taken aback, for a moment even ashamed of his thought just then. He sighed looking at the innocent eyes looking at him earnestly.
“No. Absolutely not.”
“Well, if you ask me to go away for such a vague reason, I can’t help but imagine the worst!”
After the dry season began, Eugene had compiled a list of things she wanted to do. Changing the interior of the castle, starting work in earnest with aides, attending social gatherings, etc. She had only just gotten used to living here and started to adjust to her life and status of Queen of Hashi. However, if she were to go to the Holy City now, she would be out of her mind.
“What is the worst?” Kasser queried.
“That you don’t want to keep this marriage any longer.”
He looked at Eugene in silence. She could not tell anything from his expression.
It’s too much to deal with a king who’s good at concealing his thoughts.
“I want you to meet the Sang-je and find your memories.”
Kasser no longer wanted to avoid it and wanted to confront it head-on. Whatever awaited him post her memory-recovery, he decided to face it sooner than later. There was no point in dithering and living in supposition.
“Memories… Why? You told me not to try to regain them.” She was astonished. He had never pressured her about it up until now, this was too abrupt.
“I’d like to ask you something, but you can answer it only when you find your memories.” Finally, he had revealed his thoughts.
What did she want from her three-year marriage? Kasser felt he had to know that so he could talk about the future.
“I… …What if I said I already got back my memories?”
“What?!” This time it was Kasser’s eyes that widened to their limits.
“When I opened my eyes a little while ago and saw you, I remembered a little.”
Eugene kept thinking about Jin Anika’s conversation with him as the scene changed. It felt like the memory of this body had been absorbed more than before. And she was certain it wasn’t an illusion but something that had actually transpired.
“You remembered something?” His tone was part anxious and part incredulous.
“Yes, but not everything. I recollected quite a few conversations I had with you.”
Kasser looked closely at her, not wanting to miss her reaction. Now that she has remembered some things, would she change again?
“I… Uhm… cough…” She was finding it hard to speak, her cough was a clumsy way of masking her nervousness. But continue, she had to as the man was gazing at her expectantly
“I… I remembered our marriage proposal.” She blurted out.
Kasser’s face melted at the sight of her awkward smile. She was still his ‘Eugene’. He was inexplicably elated.
“What do you want to ask me?” she managed to ask.
“… Reason. The reason you asked me to marry you.” That was the one thing that had always perplexed him, why she had walked to him out of the blue and proposed marriage.
“Ah…” Eugene said awkwardly. “I don’t remember, so I don’t know.”
Eugene’s new memories weren’t all that clear. At that time, Jin’s feelings and thoughts were unknown. Like an audience watching a movie, she could hear what she had said, saw him looking into Jin’s eyes. And right then, the film had ended. She was in no position to discern the other’s thoughts and hence furnish the man with an answer.
Kasser, who had been nervous as he waited for her answer, laughed in vain.
“Is the reason important?”
“If I can give you what you had wanted, I would gladly do so, and be done with it.”
Looking at her eyes filled with complex emotions, he went on to say.
“And then… I want to start over.”