Deciding to retrieve Matthias was one thing; however, whether he would behave himself was an entirely different matter. He wasn’t the type of dog to wag his tail at just anyone, nor was he one to be casually welcomed into one’s company. From the outset, there was scarcely a hint of charm in him. It might seem absurd to harbor affection for a young creature that had bathed himself in the blood of roughly forty enemies, yet despite his handsome appearance, his mannerisms were noticeably unrefined.
His sole flaw, perhaps, was his lack of socialization. He bore a disdain for people that surpassed mere bluntness, possessing a weighty disregard which somehow added to his allure. However, his most glaring characteristic was his volatile temper.
He maintained a steadfast distance in his interactions with others, even drawing boundaries with his master. While society attempted to integrate him, he sought isolation with a peculiar fervor. His arrogant demeanor was anything but endearing.
Even the euphemisms used for him in high society were unconventional. The women were incensed by his refusal to succumb to their charms, regardless of the allure of beauty, power, or wealth they dangled before him.
He was a breed not easily swayed by bribery or coercion, and it was confounding why Jocelyn would treat him with such arrogance, but regardless, he wasn’t simply a difficult one merely because he was young. Attempting to control him could easily backfire, with a genuine risk of the leash being turned around one’s own neck.
Could he be subdued by force? No.
Could he be bought with money? No.
Could he be threatened with power? No.
Could he be seduced by beauty? No.
Had this body gained a bit more flesh, perhaps he might have spared a glance. Even in its current state, there was some volume. But even if that were the case, what significance would it hold? If he were one swayed by a woman’s body, he would have had countless beds to lay on.
<Your Majesty, indeed, beauty is an absolute value for a woman. Receiving love from one’s husband is the greatest joy a woman can experience. Ultimately, wealth, power, education, and household are secondary to beauty. Men worship a woman’s beauty as an absolute value. Beauty alone is the sole and absolute weapon a woman can wield over a man.>
<…I cannot comprehend.>
<Nevertheless, you must understand. Your Majesty, who spent a lifetime wielding a sword, has now stepped onto the battlefield wearing a dress. You must devote all your strength to cultivating beauty.I’m afraid the only thing you can count on at the moment is His Majesty’s favor, and capturing that favor ultimately boils down to beauty.”
But, Lila, none of the women of beauty have been able to entice Mathias into bed. Sometimes, the weapon of beauty fails with certain men. If it were Matthias instead of Jocelyn who were king, the term “bed-warrior” would likely disappear from this world. He is equally cruel and indifferent to both women and men.
I embarked on this journey blindly, but I am at a loss. How do I make that man mine?
Was surrendering my life for Matthias truly a better fate than enduring a bleak existence as a woman confined by disability? Begging for affection wasn’t something I would ever stoop to, but neither was I content with a life devoid of joy.
This was a gamble, a dangerous one. Success meant Matthias by my side, a constant companion. Failure, on the other hand, meant utter ruin. The stakes were high: my life, or a prolonged existence of pathetic dependence, a burden on those around me.
Blair would eventually marry and start a family. Would he shoulder the lifelong burden of his crippled sister? History seemed to suggest otherwise. Men, after all, prioritized their new families, leaving their past obligations behind.
Survival of the fittest, they said. In this game, I needed a strategy of my own. A simple life, finding a companion and getting married, was out of the question. Eventually, like everyone else, age would render me disposable, a burden to be cast aside.
Youth is my weapon now. But time claims even that. Prepare for your later years while you still can.
