“…Damn it,” Odelliana muttered under her breath, as everything clicked into place.
Now it all made sense—why she, a perfectly healthy person, had been given heart medicine all her life. Why they had kept her alive but at a distance, hidden away.
She had been raised as a sacrificial offering for Odette’s survival.
“Break her spirit?” They had meant to crush her will completely, to make sure she never even thought about resisting, never dreamed of escaping. That was why Adella had inflicted abuse so casually. The mistreatment hadn’t been some whimsical cruelty from the maids; it had been the master’s orders.
And now, the mistress who had stolen her husband in a past life was going to steal her heart in this one? It was a sordid, grotesque fate. To think that Odette—her nemesis in both lives—had always been the one threatening her existence. The realization was maddening, yet strangely exhilarating.
“This wretched life always corners me,” Odelliana whispered, her voice thick with frustration.
“…Pardon?” Malena asked, her voice uncertain.
“It tramples people as if it’s been waiting for the chance,” Odelliana muttered bitterly. “No matter how much you struggle, nothing changes. It’s like it’s laughing at you, mocking your miserable fate, as if it’s unchangeable.”
Malena hesitated, clearly at a loss for how to respond.
“…I don’t understand what you mean, but please, try to calm down.”
Calm down? Odelliana’s thoughts churned, her heart heavy with despair. How could she possibly calm down? There was no way for both of them to survive. One had to die.
And fate had chosen Odette, not her.
Who else knows about this? Hermann, Odette, Blair… Do they all know?
The thought gnawed at Odelliana. The family had chosen Odette von Grüsewald and cast aside Odelliana von Grüsewald. But what about Blair?
A sudden wave of fear overtook her, the unease settling in like a cold weight in her chest. Doubt began to creep in. The second son, who had fallen silent—had he fled because he felt burdened by her proposal?
Could she really trust him? Could she rely on him? After all, Blair was also part of the Grüsewald family. What if he betrayed her? What if, in the end, he handed her over to the family to have her heart taken?
Would he choose her? Would he turn his back on his family for her?
“…I’m scared.”
Her voice trembled as the words left her lips.
“I’m terrified. I’m so scared I could die.”
Had she ever been this afraid before? Not even on the battlefield, where she’d faced countless enemies, or when she had been stranded in a sudden snowstorm, or even when she’d been falsely accused of poisoning Jocelyn—none of it had filled her with this kind of raw, suffocating fear.
The terror gripped her with a ferocity she had never known.
This place was the heart of enemy territory, and she was surrounded on all sides. The fear that her heart could be torn out at any moment burned through her chest like fire, making her pulse throb as if it had already been stabbed.
It was all because of this weak body—this cursedly frail body that couldn’t even protect itself. She trembled in fear, utterly powerless.
“Please, calm yourself, my lady. No one will harm you,” Malena assured.
But her body refused to obey.
“Hah… hah… hah!” She gasped, the breaths shallow and frantic. Her body seized in convulsions, a tingling sensation spreading from her hands and feet, racing through her limbs until it engulfed her entire body. Her throat tightened, as though a vise were slowly crushing it, making it impossible to breathe.
Her vision blurred, darkening at the edges. For a fleeting moment, she thought she might actually die.
Her fingers and toes curled unnaturally, her facial muscles contorting into grotesque expressions. Her chest heaved violently as she gasped for air, each breath more desperate than the last.
Just before Odelliana lost consciousness, Malena grasped her hands tightly. “Focus on your breathing. Slowly, now. Inhale deeply, and exhale slowly.”
Odelliana couldn’t respond, her mind a chaotic swirl, but she tried to follow Malena’s instructions, her breaths coming in ragged gasps.
“You’re alright,” Malena reassured her, her tone soothing and gentle. “You’re going to be alright, my lady. There’s no need to be afraid.”
With effort, Odelliana forced herself to stop thinking, focusing only on the rise and fall of her chest. Her mind was a blur of pain, but each time she faltered, Malena’s steady hand on her back grounded her, keeping her from spiraling.
Thanks to Malena’s unwavering care, Odelliana gradually began to regain control. But even as the panic eased, she seemed to wither, like a flower stripped of its vitality. Her pallor deepened, and her body slumped in exhaustion.
“…I want to be strong,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. “…I want to be free.”
Her voice cracked as she closed her eyes, her head leaning into Malena’s arms for comfort.
Malena gazed down at her, a pang of pity tightening her chest. For the first time, her master—usually so strong and resolute—was laying bare her heart.
