Indeed, I had always lived with fervor. In the shadows of a forsaken childhood, I wandered the streets in search of sustenance. As I matured, I learned the art of survival, evading squalor and hardship. Eventually, I found a mentor to whom I pledged unwavering loyalty, vowing to lead a dignified life.
I’d sooner embrace death than endure this wretched body any longer. There was no spark of motivation to live recklessly; rather, my second chance at life proved only marginally less miserable. Looking back, it was a sorry existence squandered on one person, despite my utmost efforts to make the most of it. Yet, even after expending all my strength and striving to live fully, the will to fight fiercely had deserted me.
But what did my desperation to live reap? It culminated not in a bitter death after dedicating myself to a beloved spouse, only to be betrayed and slain by a trusted disciple. Having already tasted death once, I felt a profound reluctance to embrace life anew. What purpose was there in living a life bound for death?
Yet, trapped in a body incapable of even standing, death remained an elusive choice. Instead, I was condemned to pass my days under the watchful eyes of maids, in the company of Blair.
Blair’s devotion to his sister was deeply moving, almost bringing tears to the eyes of those who witnessed it. Each morning, he tenderly lifted her into a carriage for their daily stroll, ensuring she was fed with meticulously prepared fruits along the way. He tirelessly aided her in rehabilitation, guiding her unsteady steps weaker than a toddler’s.
Every day, he showered her with declarations of love, both before she woke and as she drifted to sleep. His unwavering affection, coupled with reassurances that she was the most cherished presence in his world, imbued her with a sense of unparalleled significance.
“Do I not inconvenience you, oppa?” I would sometimes timidly ask.
“Inconvenience? I cherish every moment spent with you,” he would respond with genuine warmth.
For me, an orphan, it was a novel yet delightful sensation. Merely beholding Blair, who cared for me with boundless love as if I were his own blood, stirred within me a profound guilt for ever contemplating death.
Do I have any right to inhabit this body? It was a belated realization.
If Odelliana were a living being, where had her soul wandered off to? Did Lelusha exist in this timeline as well? Was it possible that, in some twist of fate, the souls of Lelusha and Odelliana had traded places, resulting in this current predicament?
If that were the case, would it be justifiable to entertain thoughts of suicide? What if the rightful owner of this body yearned for its return? I resolved to uncover the truth of her existence in this timeline, and to ascertain the whereabouts of Lady Odelliana’s soul.
I couldn’t bear to disrupt another’s life for my own selfish desires. Despite the ruin that had befallen my existence, I couldn’t help but wonder if Odelliana might perceive things differently.
Reflecting on the surreal reality of inhabiting another’s body, it appeared almost inevitable that others might encounter such an anomaly. Instead of entertaining fleeting thoughts of death, I resolved to embark on a quest to locate the original inhabitant of this body and perhaps even Lelusha, wherever she may be.
Yet, this seemingly modest pursuit of purpose was thwarted by a formidable obstacle: the incessant surveillance imposed by the maids who held dominion over me day and night. Before addressing the discomforts of this foreign body, I needed to confront the oppressive presence of these attendants.
While Blair remained by my side for now, his impending departure back to Duke Gruegelbart’s estate loomed large. Once he left, I would be ensnared within the confines of that wretched place, a livestock in a pen.