Kennard quietly crossed the room but came to an abrupt stop in front of the bed. The spot where she should have been sleeping was empty. The disheveled sheets indicated that she had been there earlier. Her scent still lingered in the room, a comforting warmth in the cold night air.
Quickly scanning the room, Kennard’s gaze was drawn to a specific spot.
As Kennard silently approached, he found Elena fast asleep on the sofa he often used to read or sit in deep thought. Curled up like a child, her body was nestled into the soft backrest, looking both endearing and somewhat ridiculous.
“Why on earth is she sleeping here?” Kennard muttered to himself, his voice filled with a mix of confusion and amusement.
He glanced back at his bed, then at Elena again. It made no sense to him why she would choose this small, narrow sofa over the large, spacious bed. Yet, she looked so peaceful and content, her face illuminated by the soft glow of the fireplace.
“This is driving me crazy,” Kennard sighed, rubbing his temples in frustration. After finishing his final task of the day, speaking with the soldiers at the outpost, he had intended to go to bed. The soft sounds of the wind and distant birdsong should have lulled him to sleep, but instead, his mind had become increasingly alert.
He couldn’t stop thinking about Elena. Had she woken up alone in the castle? Was she feeling unwell from the strain he had put her through? Had she eaten anything? One worry led to another, spiraling into a torrent of concerns about her well-being.
Was she planning to escape once she realized he wasn’t around?
That thought was the final straw. He shot up in bed, unable to lie still any longer. After making sure Serin was asleep, he had slipped out of the outpost. If Serin had known what he was doing, he would have scolded him endlessly.
The soldiers had looked confused and startled by his sudden departure, but Kennard didn’t bother to explain. Shifting into his wolf form, he had dashed through the Terra Demorte forest at full speed, making his way back to the castle. His heart raced, and his breathing was labored by the time he arrived.
He had needed to confirm that she was still there, safe in the castle. The closer he got, the more clearly he could sense her pheromones, and he had felt a measure of relief. But finding her like this had caught him off guard.
Kennard bent down, slipping his arms beneath her shoulders and legs. Lifting her, along with the fur blanket she had wrapped around herself, her body felt incredibly light in his arms. She stirred slightly in her sleep, her lips moving as though she were mumbling, but she quickly settled again.
“How much more do I have to feed her for her to gain some weight?” Kennard muttered to himself, his voice filled with concern.
Despite being lifted and carried across the room to the bed, Elena didn’t wake. Kennard gently laid her down, pulling the sheets over her first before draping the fur blanket back over her. Straightening up, he placed his hands on his hips and looked down at her.
Even in the dim light, her red hair gleamed like embers in the dark. Though she looked tired, with slight shadows under her eyes, her skin still had a radiant glow. She seemed so small, so fragile, as if she might break at the slightest touch.
He felt torn. He wanted to treat her delicately, to cherish her, but at the same time, a deeper, more primal part of him wanted to hold her roughly, to possess her completely. He didn’t want to confine her, but every time he let his guard down, the fear that she would vanish from his side overwhelmed him.
Part of him hoped she would regain her memories soon, but another part of him wished she could live on as she was now, with only the memories she currently held. If her memories returned, she would never be happy again.
I’ll never let you go. No matter what, Kennard vowed silently.
He dragged the sofa she had been sleeping on closer to the bed. Sinking into it, he leaned back, his eyes never leaving Elena. He wanted to crawl into bed with her, to hold her in his arms, but he couldn’t allow himself to do that.
No, he couldn’t trust himself. If he inhaled her pheromones too deeply, if his hands and body touched her soft skin, he would lose control. He would wake her with whispers, urging her on, kissing her body until he consumed her entirely, leaving nothing untouched. He would caress and soothe her tender flesh until she was his completely.
“Ugh,” Kennard groaned, his teeth clenched. The memory of being inside her flooded his mind, the heat of her flushed face lingering in his thoughts. His body responded instantly, blood rushing south, hardening and swelling with desire.
“Damn it,” he muttered, his voice low and rough. Kennard buried his face in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. He was fighting a losing battle, struggling to suppress the overwhelming urge to rush to her side. His whole body trembled with the effort to hold himself back, afraid he’d give in at any moment.
The more he resisted, the stronger his desire to hold her became. It was unbearable, to have her so close and yet keep pretending everything was normal. The torment of enduring her presence without acting on his desires had left him on the edge.
“I’m not some wild beast in heat,” he growled, but his restraint was faltering. Unable to bear it any longer, Kennard hastily reached for his pants, his fingers trembling as he undid the buttons.
