“It is not that I am scared of you having children or giving birth,” he continued in a trembling voice, “But there is a possibility of things going wrong in childbirth. The doctor told me that many women often perish this way. I thought you were going to die, too.”
“I don’t want to put you in a position which might threaten your life again, Sia,” he said, “I can’t bear it if that happened again.”
At his explanation, Siana heaved a breath of relief. She slumped her shoulders releasing the tension that had made it stiff. “Why didn’t you tell me you felt this way?” she asked.
“I was worried I might let you down,” said Alan.
“What? Why?” she asked, bewildered.
“I like kids, of course,” said Alan, “And no man would refuse to have more children. You especially love kids. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”
“That was why you didn’t even mention birth control or using protection,” said Siana, “And just avoided the whole thing.” Alan nodded.
“Listen to me, Alan,” said Siana, still on top of him. “I like kids, but I am fine with two. I don’t want more children if you don’t want to. It’s not your fault. I would never blame you.”
“No, listen to me,” she said, “I also cherish myself. I want to keep living with you and see Liz and Allen grow up.” She looked at him tenderly. “I didn’t die. I made it through. But if you are that scared, we will use protection. We don’t need to have more children. We have Liz and Allen. They are enough for us.”
She had expected him to be relaxed at that, but he was still frowning. Why? I just resolved the problem. She looked at him, urging him to say whatever was on his mind. After a while Alan relented.
“This world doesn’t have a perfect way to stay protected…”
“Sia, I don’t want to pose any threat to you,” said Alan, “I don’t want to take the risk. Even if there is a small possibility of it happening then I want to avoid it.”
Siana was stumped. “So, you are saying,” she said, “Since we don’t have a 100% chance of staying safe, we shouldn’t make love at all?”
Alan nodded. She let out a frustrated breath and almost slipped off of him. She regained her composure. She didn’t know how it had come to this. The man who had approached her with so much confidence and wanted to stay with her at all times. It was a problem for Siana. Maybe Alan could stay like this, but she knew she couldn’t.
“But I want to do it,” she said, stroking his thigh. Her hands slid over the bulge in his pants and he let out a soft gasp. He looked at her with sunken eyes. “We can try our best to stay protected. But even if there is a small possibility of me getting pregnant, we will get through it together like we did last time. I survived after giving birth to two children, I will survive again.”
“Sia…” he said, hoarsely.
“Even if I get pregnant a third time, I will live,” she said, “Don’t worry so much. Please don’t push me away. I really want you. I can’t live away from you like this.”
She didn’t wait for him to finish his sentence, she leaned down and kissed him full on his lips. Alan didn’t kiss her back, but she didn’t give up. She started unbuttoning his shirt. She would stop only if Alan pushed her away. She fumbled with his shirt.
After removing his shirt, she trailed her hands over his bare skin, feeling the hard muscles flinching under her fingers. She lowered her lips to Alan’s jawline. She licked his skin, and his body trembled each time she kissed him.
Veins throbbed in Alan’s neck and his forearms rose up to support her. He felt as though he would choke on the lust bubbling up inside him. All thoughts of pushing her away fled from his mind. The thought of her getting pregnant went through his mind again. He knew that he couldn’t avoid this, but she would always be his priority.
“Sia, I…” he said, “I said it earlier and I am saying it again. If you get pregnant, and you face a risk, you will be my priority over the child.” Siana didn’t respond. “If I have to choose between you and the child, I will choose you, always. Do you still want to do it?”
“Yes, I do,” she whispered in his ear and looked at him. “That won’t happen. And if it does, I would choose myself too. I don’t care if people call me selfish, but I want to stay with you forever.”
Her face was full of determination. Her conviction alone convinced him and brushed away all caution and guilt in his heart. He pushed her down on the bed and got on top of her. It had been several months since they hadn’t touched each other.
At that moment, there was only one thing in his mind. He had no regrets and no remorse. All he wanted was to hold her in his arms and press her close to him. He untied the knotted ribbon of her collarette and her br*asts fell free. He lowered his mouth to them and sucked on them. He had been deprived of this for a long time. He bit her.
Siana grabbed his hair. “Hold on,” she said, “Wait… it hurts.”
Belatedly realizing that she was in pain, he took his lips off her chest. “Sorry,” he said in a low voice. He lowered his lips on her chest again and licked them lightly this time. His tongue made her n*pples harden. She could feel his hot tongue at her chest, endlessly licking and nibbling, wanting more.
Siana realized too late, and her face turned red in embarrassment. “Wait!” she exclaimed. She tried to push him away, but it was too late. Her milk was already dripping down his jaw.
He swallowed and slurped at it. Alan licked his lips. “Delicious,” he said, teasingly.
Siana’s face turned a deeper shade of red. “D-don’t suck my n*pples,” she stammered.
“Hm,” he said with a smirk, “Then do you want me to lick them?” He licked at her mound and licked up the milk that had dripped between her chest.
“Mm… ahh,” moaned Siana. His hot tongue on her flesh gave her a primal pleasure.
“Ahh, is it because I sucked it? The milk doesn’t stop,” he said, “Do you want me to leave it? I can clean it all up if you want.”
“No need for that,” said Siana.
“Are you sure?” he asked, “It keeps coming out.”
Siana shook her head at seeing Alan ready to suck it again at any moment. The milk didn’t stop. Siana felt embarrassed at the scene. “Just be gentle…” she said cautiously. She squeezed his shoulders.
That was all the encouragement he needed. He lowered his mouth to her chest and licked it. “Ahh, oh… Alan, yes,” she mumbled.
He obediently rolled up her skirt above her waist as she trembled at the cold air hitting her skin. He then pulled down her panties. Feeling naked and bare after such a long time made her feel good. She tried to spread her legs, but Alan’s hands were firmly gripping her butt*cks.
His fingers slid inside her opening, checking if she was wet enough. He placed a pillow below her butt. “Alan?”
Her legs were spread now as her lower back rose over the pillow. He then lowered his head between her thighs. A gasp escaped Siana as she felt his hot breath at the opening between her legs.
She almost buckled when she felt his tongue at her opening exploring her tender flesh. She squirmed as he kept teasing her with his tongue. “Ahhh, mm… yes! Ahh,” she moaned.
The heat built up to such a level that she couldn’t take it anymore and she climaxed. When she crested, the pleasure was so great that she couldn’t push him away. With her back arched, she held onto his shoulders.
Because of the stimulation, more liquid flowed out of her making her even wetter. Alan raised his head from between her legs. Smacking his lips, he asked, “Are you ready?”
Siana’s face became even more red at his blunt question. “How many times do you want me to say it?” she said, “I want you. Just put it in.”
“Well,” he said, “I think I will keep asking just to annoy you.”
He removed his pants and underwear, his member, that she had felt from over his pants, was fully exposed. Seeing his naked body after such a long time filled her with awe. She no longer felt afraid looking at him, she only felt a deep yearning now.
She raised her hand and wrapped them around Alan’s neck and pressed herself to him. He flinched. “Alan?”
“Sorry,” he said, hoarsely.
“Why?” she asked.
“I might be a little… rough,” he said, as he pushed his member deep inside her opening.
‘Wait,” she said, “Hold on.”
“I am not all the way in,” he whispered, and he looked at Siana panting. He then slid it out a little and thrust it back inside. Siana’s body shuddered, and she relished the feel of him deep inside her.
The penetration created convulsions in her thighs, but it felt so good to have Alan filling her after such a long time. She raised her legs and wrapped them around his waist. Alan took that as encouragement and began to move inside her. He thrust inside her vigorously.
“Ahh, mm… too fast—”
‘You brought this on yourself,” he whispered back. His voice was rough, and it pierced her eardrums. He frantically thrust inside her repeatedly. He would slide it out a while and thrust it so deep.
“Alan, ahhh… too fast,” stammered Siana, in between moans.
Alan moved with vigor and it was useless. Alan was usually gentle all the time but when it came to doing this, he gave it his all. It had been so long since she had him between her legs, she held onto him and cried in pleasure.
“Ahhh…mmm… Alan, oh yes!” she moaned.
“Oh, Sia,” he said, panting, “I love you…”
“Me too, ahhh!”
Their bodies intertwined and their moans filled the room. Siana was so exhausted, she gradually lost feeling in her arms. Her fingers slipped down Alan’s sweaty skin. She knew this would leave scratch on his skin, but she couldn’t take it without holding onto something.
As Siana climaxed, she felt the strength leave her legs and it fell away from Alan’s waist. But Alan grabbed her legs and thrust deep again. Alan kept thrusting vigorously till he was spent and both of them fell asleep in each other’s arms.
* * *
It was a sunny day just before winter. Yulia, who had just left a social gathering, entered her room looking tired. There were days that she hated but had no choice but to meet other wives because of her husband’s many connections. Today was one of those days.
It wasn’t as difficult as she had found it in the beginning, but it was still tiring whenever she went out to any gathering. She had to pretend to be attentive to their brags and useless complaints, and she had to pretend to smile as though she was enjoying everything.
That was exactly how those gatherings were to her. All pretentious and superficial. She always thought about Siana whenever she went to these useless gatherings. Siana was always honest and straightforward and Yulia missed her in these gatherings.
I wonder if she was able to resolve the problem, Yulia thought. Yulia still remembered her visit over a month ago when Siana had looked so miserable because Alan had been avoiding her.
Yulia was debating on whether she should send a letter. She sat at her desk, took out a sheet of paper and lifted her pen. Just then, there was a knock at the door. When Yulia turned around, she saw the maid at the door.
“Madam, a letter has arrived,” announced the maid.
“Yes. A letter from Countess Lagarde.”
Yulia thought it was such a pleasant coincidence that just when she was thinking about Siana, her letter had arrived. She set her pen down on the table. She grabbed the letter opener, accepted the newly arrived letter and tore it open.
The first few lines asked about her health and her wellbeing. The letter continued to talk about the recent news and happenings at the mansion. Yulia smiled at herself as she read the letter. But as she read along, the smile was wiped off her face.
Yulia, with a stunned look on her face, jumped up and tossed the letter away and ran outside to find a carriage and a horseman. The letter fluttered down to the floor and the last line said:
I have some good news. I am pregnant again!
What a short, but sweet ride! There wasn’t much plot in this story, but itthis novels holds a special place in my heart. Especially with our main leads characteristics and relationships.
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Thank you to everyone for reading this novel!