Chapter 55.1

‘April 11th.

Today made me think of that child a lot. Is she doing well?

I remember her playing with her friends. She was always with them, De and Lo. They listened to her words and followed them enthusiastically, even though their personalities are vastly different. It was perhaps because of that child they managed to get along well. Even as a kid, De already loved drinks. He still does, even to this day, right? I am worried his health will deteriorate if he continues to drink recklessly. Not to mention, he frequently gets into trouble because of that. Now that I think of it, the servants didn’t like De very much. But I don’t think the child cared much about De’s habits.

She met Lo later than De, but I think the child liked him more; the servants liked Lo too. Lo had good manners and he was courteous to those around him. However, he had been hurt before; that part still seemed to be hurting. The child was also interested in Lo’s younger sibling, so she would often ask. I wonder if Lo’s younger sibling is also interested in her.

When I have time, I will send you a letter again.’

The sender was Mayve Corason, who serves the princess at the royal palace. Originally, the letter was supposed to go to him, but the servant who brought it told me that that person hadn’t come to Schway yet, and if so, it was meant to be delivered to me. For the maid to be sending letters like this… it must mean he had already paid her. I hate people who don’t pay for these kinds of services beforehand. It was a sensitive business. Although, I don’t think he’s that careless.

I wouldn’t have understood the contents of the letter if I hadn’t heard the explanation in advance. In order not to blatantly reveal the information to prying eyes, the letter had disguised the names of the Princess, Ethan Duplo and Aaron as Mayve’s daughter, De and Lo, respectively.

The gist of it was that the three were always together. Ethan still drinks and Aaron seems to be at least polite to others. But what did it mean for his injury to be still hurting? My brother’s leg was clearly healed. One of the best healers in Schway treated him with magic, and he was fine until we went to the Glouster estate. I saw him limp strangely once or twice in Glouster, but I thought it was because he was tired at the time. It’s mind-boggling.

My thoughts wandered back to the Princess being interested in Lo’s younger sibling… to me. It seems like the princess still has a grudge against me. Isn’t it enough for Aaron to be next to her? Will her sour feelings towards me ever go away? Or did she feel greatly shamed because of the incident at the royal party? I couldn’t think of a bigger reason for her interest in me.

Well, it’s best not to dwell on it. I just have to keep an eye on the situation and leave the other things to him.

The rest of the letters were about their activities inside the palace. Mayve sent a letter with considerable sincerity, but it seems like even serving doesn’t mean one can freely use good paper. I turned the papers in my hands, examining them distractedly. The paper  had the same quality as that gossip newspaper, A Week in Schway.

When I finished reading the letter, I organized it and placed it inside my drawers. I don’t believe anyone would go through my belongings, but just in case, I have waxed both edges of the letter. If someone wants to see this letter, they will have to open this wax to see it.

The Grand Duke still hasn’t appeared in Schway. A territory has many responsibilities and tasks. Of course, there are other tasks aside from that, but what exactly was he dealing with that it’s taking this much time? There’s a lot to discuss, but I have no idea where and what he is doing… Moreover, the butler said that he has yet to deliver my request. I felt impatient.

My mind wandered to my old life. I’ve never waited for something good back then. For me, my life was limited to the present, a present sometimes painful or macabre fun. I couldn’t think beyond the delegated tasks in my work; simply put, my life was a series of schedules.  The only thing I often looked at was my cell phone. I often waited for his call, because I had no idea when he would contact me, and I couldn’t contact him. He only appears when he needs me. And so, I constantly waited.

Waiting then, was both irritating and thrilling. It was different from waiting at work. It felt like some anxious hope, a hope that he would want to talk to me. Even more, that he would miss me, too. And that he hadn’t died in a godforsaken place. It was a foreign kind of feeling at the time. But I know now…. Now I detest it; I don’t want to wait anxiously for someone again. I’ve done enough of that in my previous life.

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